I have a beautiful, talented, smart, fashionable, funny, teenage daughter. Now, let me just say first that I find this very difficult to believe sometimes, as I myself don't feel a day over 16. Oh well, I guess I need to face the facts! The journey to "little womanhood" with her has not always been easy. In fact, the year she was 12 was exceptionally difficult. She was going through the worst of the physical and emotional changes of growing up, and I was pregnant, which caused the perfect storm of hormones. There were almost daily shouting or crying sessions, and I will not say if those were only by her. (clearing throat) Being that we home school, there was no escape. She was stuck with me all the time, and I was "blessed" to get to experience every single second of her life. I thought those days would never end. I wondered where my sweet little girly had gone. Sometimes I was scared to admit even to myself that I felt I didn't really like being around her anymore. How awful for a mom to feel that! Well, I am quite sure she did not like me very much at that point, either. BUT HERE IS THE GREAT NEWS, MOMMA, if you are going through this: She will emerge out of this transition and your relationship can be wonderful. I actually really and truly love the person she is becoming, and I enjoy (honestly) hanging out with her now. The constant influx of hormones has become regulated, and she has learned to control her emotions much better.
But there is one thing I have been convicted of lately concerning her, so I wanted to share it with you. Almost on a daily basis, she will ask "Does this outfit look good?", or "Does my make up look all right?", or "How does my hair look?" Now, this is a bit strange to me most days because we are not leaving the house and no one other than her family will even SEE her..... I am usually multi-tasking (holding a baby, pacifying a preschooler, handing out school work, cleaning something, cooking something, etc) and I admit that I have answered her quickly with out even LOOKING at her! And sometimes, my tone of voice may not be so great either. Ugh. The other day, while I was about to tersely respond, the Holy Spirit whispered...."Careful, Momma, think before you speak, and think about what she is really asking." She is asking, "Am I OK?", "Am I loved?", "Do you think I'm pretty?", and even "Do you have time for me?" Oh my, I was convicted. I need to STOP what I am doing when these questions come. I need to look her in the eye. I need to answer her with feeling and truth, and do everything in my power to fill up her compliment tank. I am praying that I can remember to do this, that I won't let the distractions take over and cause more flippant responses. So, I wanted to share this with other Mommas out there, and I hope it makes you ponder your own girlies a little. And, they are also never to big for a hug. Especially if it's in front of friends and embarrasses them :)
I made this book for her when she was 12, to be a tangible thing to remind her she is loved. It has letters from me, and from other women in her life, telling her how much she is loved, and to hold on to the Lord.
Copy and paste link to read entire book:
http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectId=1808556&productId=9&projectSponsor=397128
Hello, and welcome to my new blog. This has been on my heart for awhile, and the new year brought the perfect opportunity to start something new. Those of you who know me, may think I am crazy to take on something else. Well, that is sort of the point of this. And you are right, I am crazy!
People are always calling me "supermom". This is most likely meant as a compliment, but it often makes me feel a little phony. I do not think of myself that way. I am just on a journey every day to serve the Lord the best I can, glorify Him in all I do, and honor Him in my marriage, parenting, and business. I am no more "super" than anyone else. Yes, I have lots of kids. And I manage to feed them everyday. (They have this habit of demanding it.) And yes, I home school them. This is sometimes awesome, sometimes an immense struggle. It also in no way makes me "super". I also run two pretty successful businesses, a piano studio and a direct sales business. This is not easy. I have to work very hard at squeezing things in, and trying to manage my time. I do not have more hours in the day than anyone else, as some have accused, lol! We have a house bursting full of kids, and that eating habit that I mentioned earlier means that I have to find creative ways to help with the family income. It is necessity, but I also love my jobs.
This blog will chronicle our adventures, mostly my mommy adventures. I will share our stories, and let you peek into my brain. I hope you enjoy it!
So, for this first post, I am going to let you all in on a little secret. Even though I am outgoing, I am totally insecure. I always feel that people don't really like me....that they *tolerate* my presence. This is Satan's #1 to get at me, and I know (somewhere deep inside) that it is a lie. But it is still my kryptonite. In opening up to some other moms about this, I have come to realize that MANY of us mommies deal with this. And many of these sweet ladies are women I really admire and desire closer friendships with myself! This makes me so sad, because in believing this lie, we actually cut ourselves off from other women who God has put in our lives as blessings for us. I wish we could all be more *real* with each other about our struggles, and not be so worried about being judged all the time. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be a better friend, and make truly make an effort to invest in those precious relationships. We need each other :)
In the past six months, I have gone through a bit of a rough patch. Nothing terrible has happened, just lots of changes, that when added up just overwhelmed me a bit. I always thought I was a very "fly by the seat of my pants" gal, ready for change and excited to embrace it. Well, I have either changed, or getting older has started to effect me more than I want to admit! I have fought some of these changes, and wrestled with *who* I am, *what* I am doing, and *why* I am doing it more than ever before. I have felt completely alone. All of a sudden, during my prayer time (actually more like "complaining" time it seemed), I heard God whisper *why* I am going through these struggles. He said "I am jealous for you." He is jealous for me! He is jealous for you! He wants me to throw my eyes away from all these fears and know that He loves me enough to be JEALOUS when I look elsewhere for acceptance and meaning. Have you thought about that? The only real jealousy we usually understand is the romantic type of jealousy. And that is a strong emotion! That is how He loves us! What a wonderful thing! He is teaching me to look to Him first for friendship, for direction, and for meaning in it all. Let Him whisper to you, too!
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